Another Look at Exploring On Your Own

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 88

May 30, 2024

Greetings, Pen to Paper readers!

Almost a year ago, I wrote about embarking on new experiences alone and how difficult that was for me in “Going at It Alone” (July 7, 2023). I haven’t changed much.

Now, I’m having new thoughts about the benefits of experiencing the new alone or with someone.

In this newsletter:

The benefits of alone time.
The benefits of together time.
The benefits of sharing perceptions.

Alone Time

Everyone needs time alone.

How else can we connect with what we feel and think? I think up some of my best ideas, make decisions, and solve problems when I’m in a quiet space with just me. This is true in my house and out walking in the neighborhood. (No tech walks are good for you!)

Even in busy places like the grocery store, I can be more focused and productive when I’m alone. Of course, it’s usually the familiar places I frequent in the community.

Going somewhere new alone gives you an opportunity to form your own opinion. Even a best friend or partner will have different thoughts no matter how well you get along. While visiting a museum of art with my best friends, we were each drawn to different pieces. They were thinking the same when I exclaimed, “I would hang that in my house!”

Together Time

When you spend time with others, you get a glimpse into their perceptions—their likes and dislikes, how they think, and what they know—all of which can benefit you.

Have you ever watched a parent and child experience something new together? The parent often takes the lead in showing the child what to focus on and why. They share their background knowledge (and sometimes their biases).

Parents help the child navigate aspects of the adventure, such as guiding the way to the destination, informing of expected etiquette, and facing unexpected challenges.

The child shares the wonder and awe they experience on the adventure. They also reinforce the efforts of the parents.

Shared Perceptions Enhance the Experience

Your experience can be enhanced with the right person along for the adventure.

I found this true this past weekend. I had expressed the desire to learn the ins and outs of taking the train to Washington, D.C. In my mind, I’m preparing for a solo trip to the Smithsonian. What a great artist’s date that would be! So, as a birthday present, my daughter-in-law, granddaughter, and I took a “girls’ trip” to Washington, D.C. by train.

My daughter-in-law lived and worked in D.C. for several years and knew her way around.

We navigated the transit system with my daughter-in-law’s expertise. She chose the hotel and had suggestions for breaks and restaurants.

My granddaughter had only a few memories of when she lived there as a toddler. We let her choose the museums and set the pace. Then, the real magic happened.

Wandering the Museum of Natural History, my granddaughter gravitated to what caught her attention. Her method of wandering was to follow her curiosity, something I rarely do. I enjoyed every minute. Watching her interest and amazement brought me great joy. She noticed things I probably wouldn’t have.

As the observer of both the parent (daughter-in-law) and the child (granddaughter) I just soaked up the benefits of an adventure with others. I saw the city through my daughter-in-law’s eyes and the museum through my granddaughter’s eyes.

Now, I’m rethinking my previous desire to learn how to do it alone.

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

The picture above shows us on the D.C. Metro. Six-year-olds have no qualms about making silly faces for the camera.
I’m grateful for my daughter-in-law's knowledge of getting around D.C. Having a guide can relieve a lot of the anxiety of being in a new place.
It’s good to follow a child in what to do and the pace of an adventure. Children are the first to complain when things aren’t going their way, and that can change the tone of a fun time.
I’m grateful for my granddaughter’s stamina for walking. We logged seven miles in one day. She would occasionally say she needed to rest her feet, sit for a minute, then hop up and be ready to go!
If you don’t have an awesome guide for the city of your choice, do your homework. Living in the age of technology makes city resources easy to find, like this one for Washington, D.C.
This short article outlines some benefits of the family-together time that I didn’t mention.
Alone time is a good thing. This article goes into more detail about how it benefits your health.

Thank you for reading. This week think about how balanced your together-time and alone-time are.

Until next time,

💚

Susan

What destination have you been to alone (or with others) that would have been enhanced if you had someone with you or (by yourself)? Leave a comment and tell me about it.

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