The Disenchantment of Visiting a Place You Remember

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 83

Apr 25, 2024

“These days, I’d give everything I own and have ever possessed just to see it, hear it, and feel it all once more.” - Rick Bragg

Happy Thursday, Friends!

Don’t we all wish we could visit a special person, place, or event from our memory? The people, places, and events of our past helped shape who we are.

What happens when we revisit them? Is it possible to visit and feel the same as we remember?

In this newsletter:

How Accurate are Our Memories?
Changes will Occur.
Treasures Worth Keeping.

Our Memories are Inaccurate

So much impacts the way we remember a person, place, or event.

How long has it been? What were your emotions at the time? What was your perspective? Then, you must consider how good your memory is and how efficient your retrieval system is.

You may remember different details from someone else who was with you.

My sister and I were a year apart in school. We went to a high school with approximately 100 students in each grade. We knew all the same people. She will ask me, do you remember …? I will draw a blank or, at best, have a vague recollection.

The accuracy of our memories is often fuzzy unless the factors are just right.

Changes Over Time

We all grow up, and we think we remember accurately.

We expect people, places, and events to stay the same over time. That’s a lot to expect, especially the longer it’s been. Even if our memories are accurate, changes have occurred.

People change over time. They may not look or act like you remember them. We have all changed with our life experiences, and we will keep changing.

Places from your childhood may look small because you grew up there. Or maybe they look old and worn. They may not even exist!

Your Memories are Treasures

I recently took the opportunity to drive by a special place of my childhood - my grandmother’s house.

It’s been 40 years since she lived there, but as a child, it was a constant vacation destination. We spent at least a week there every summer, in addition to a handful of holidays. My brother, sister, and I had a lot of time to create memories there.

My grandmother’s house was a place of wonder. Inside were antiques, knick-knacks, polished oak floors, an off-limits art studio, and books everywhere. Built in the 1920s, it had an attic fan that would pull in the night air and force you to snuggle under the covers if the night temperatures dropped into the 60s or lower. That’s saying a lot for the deep south.

As children, we spent hours playing on the wide, screened-in front porch or in the big yard. We raced roly-polys, made roads for our matchbox cars in the pea gravel driveway, and rolled in the grass.

You can probably tell I have a lot of good memories of my grandmother’s house. Of course, the inevitable happened when she passed away. It was sold.

I knew I would be disappointed when I drove by last week, but I did it anyway. I could only look from the outside and even that left me disenchanted.

I couldn’t measure the accuracy of my memories because I didn’t go inside or walk around the yard. From the outside, it had changed. I would recognize it anywhere in spite of the changes, but it no longer looked like my grandmother’s house.

We need to find a way to treasure memories like those I have of my grandmother’s house. Writing about them is one way. Maybe my brother, sister, and I will find the time to reminisce together. I’m sure we will remember different things.

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

The first picture is my grandmother’s house, as I remember it. It was probably taken in the 1960s. The second picture shows it as it looks now. The screens are off the front porch, there is no side porch, and it’s painted green.
I am grateful to the photo apps that have auto unblur. While tweaking my old black-and-white photo, I discovered my grandmother standing close to the house.
It’s a good thing to accept change. So much change is not in our control.
I’ve written about my grandmother’s house before. You can read my memories of the yard and the driveway. And here is a story about a special treat I remember having when we visited.
I am grateful to have many happy memories from my childhood.
It’s a good thing to reminisce about the past. If we don’t tell the stories, they slowly fade in memory.
What better way to remember than to practice positive reminiscence? It will enhance your joy and well-being. This short article tells you how.

Thank you for reading. This week, why don’t you reach out to a friend or family member and compare memories you may have in common?

Until next time,

💚

Susan

Have you ever revisited a place you have a special memory of? What did you think? Leave a comment and tell me about it.

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