Ask yourself, "Why not help?" You Can Causes A Change

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 78

Susan G.S. Abel

Mar 21, 2024

Greetings, Readers!

As someone who has had to learn to ask for help, I’m grateful for people who offer help when they see the need.

In this newsletter:

Learning to ask, “Why not help?”
Taking advantage of opportunities to help.
Do we need a reason to help?

Why Not Help?

“After you clean up, meet out on the back lawn for “Capture the Flag.” So my friends grabbed their paper plates, tossed them in the garbage, and ran out, leaving a mess on the tables.

The youth pastor’s wife started the true clean-up. “You shouldn’t help clean up their mess.” That’s me, the rule follower, stating the obvious.

Her answer has stayed with me for decades. “Why shouldn’t I help? They came to have fun and be with their friends. The work needs to be done.”

Even though I was there for the same reasons as my friends, I couldn’t leave her alone to clean. So, I stayed until she shooed me away, leaving her with only the dishes from cooking.

At the time, I didn’t realize I would revisit this event in my mind every time I was presented with the opportunity to help.

She saw an opportunity and helped. I guess I did, too.

Opportunities and Decisions to Help

Often, we know there will be an opportunity to help in advance, and we have time to decide whether to act.

But some opportunities happen quickly when we are least expecting them.

When I was in college, my friends and I went downtown to a Mardi Gras parade. I probably had the beginnings of a migraine when we started out. By the time the parade ended, I had a full-blown migraine.

My friends wanted to go to the French Quarter to join the festivities. I knew I couldn’t. So I decided to hang back by the nearest bus stop to catch the first city bus back to campus. It would only be a fifteen- or twenty-minute wait.

I stood on the corner under the street light (yes, it was dark), watching the parade watchers pass on their way to the French Quarter. Eventually, I was alone waiting until a drunk man came along and started harassing me. I was scared; these were pre-cellphone days.

My first plan was to ignore him and pray he would get bored with my inattention. So far, he had only harassed me verbally. Why was the bus taking so long?

Then, I noticed a young man coming down the street from the direction of the French Quarter. My first thought was, “Oh, no,” but he knew in the time it took for him to cross the street to me.

He walked up and greeted me like he knew me and asked if I was okay. I simply told him I was waiting for the bus, not wanting to let on to my impaired condition.

“Can I wait with you?” was his simple response. We didn't really talk. I’m not sure I could have conversed at this point.

When the bus came, I got on, and he didn’t. I looked back and thanked him. He just waved in response.

He saw an opportunity and made a quick decision to help.

Taking the time to wait with me at the bus stop probably seemed like a small gesture to him, but it meant the world to me.

The Reason We Help

We can help for recognition or to feel good about ourselves.

However, the youth pastor's wife and the young man at the bus stop helped because they saw help was needed and took action.

The reason doesn’t matter. What matters is our efforts to help cause change.

Even when we are unsure of how to help, it’s good to should offer. We can make a difference.

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

I’m grateful for all the people who have helped me along the way.
It’s good to put your cell phone away when you’re out and about. You may happen upon an opportunity to help.
I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned because I chose to help.
Have you thought about how little time it takes to make a difference? Consider this Mat Hogan post.
This article made me think that having one strong character trait that encourages you to help others probably strengthens other traits you are less strong in.
We should all be grateful for the people who fill professional helping jobs, such as teachers, nurses, or firefighters (the list goes on). Their pay doesn’t always cover the amount of work they do and the responsibility they hold.
If you want a more planned-out helping opportunity, find ways to volunteer in your community. I volunteer in two schools. Check volunteermatch.org to find opportunities in your area.

Thank you for reading. I hope this newsletter inspires you to help someone when they least expect it.

Until next time,

💚

Susan

Do you find it easy to help, even if you don’t know the person? Leave a comment and let me know.

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