Finding Friendship Close to Home

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 82

Hi 🙋‍♀️,

That emoji is me waving to you from my little corner of the world.

In this newsletter:

1. Fighting the Inner Homebody

2. Braving New Adventures

3. From Waves to Conversations

4. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Fighting My Homebody Instinct

We all need some amount of ‘me time’.

I love my time alone (in my home, not in public like wrote about in “Going At It Alone”). It would be so easy for me to stay home. I would write, read, pet my dog, indulge in my hobbies, and be with family.

Research tells us we need friendship and community to lead long, happy lives. Knowing my natural homebody instincts, I knew in retirement I would need to cultivate friendships outside of my home.

Saying I want new friends doesn’t mean it’s easy to act on the words. I use my husband to meet new neighbors. “Hey, the next door neighbor is out. Do you want to go with me to meet them?” His companionship made me braver.

My desire for friendship wins over my desire to stay home. I was a little like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I thought I needed to leave home to find what I was looking for. This is why I volunteer at the school I retired from. It’s why I take art classes (I wrote about that here).

I ignored a closer place to find friendship and community - my neighborhood.

I have been a neighborhood walker for years. I walk for the exercise. At my age, if you want to keep moving, you need to move. My desire for movement wins the fight over my desire to stay in my happy, isolated, controlled world. Walking has been part of my daily routine in the last five neighborhoods I’ve lived in. It’s beautiful to have a neighborhood to walk in. Having a neighborhood where I can walk means I have no excuse not to walk.

Braving New Adventures Close to Home

Surprisingly (to me), my neighborhood walks became a part of my efforts to make friends. It was with some reluctance. My natural tendencies made me want to leave my house and walk alone. When I first started walking, I hoped to finish my walk without seeing anyone. That's not the attitude for someone looking to make friends.

There’s this thing about neighborhoods. They are filled with neighbors. Walking in the neighborhood greatly increases the chances I will see and ultimately talk to them.

I pulled on the wisdom heard in Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s “The King and I”:

Whenever I feel afraid,

I hold my head erect

And whistle a happy tune,

So no one will suspect

I'm afraid.

I walked alone and I like it that way. I could listen to a podcast or book. I could stop and take a picture of a flower. Most importantly, I could walk at my own pace. My stride is short.

From Waves to Conversations

You can guess where this story is going. I’ve made friends in the neighborhood as a result of my walking routine.

It started with waving from a distance. Next came passing and greeting neighbors out in there yard or out walking. Some walking dogs and some exercising like me. Then, I was occasionally meeting and walking with one of my neighbors. She knows everyone in the neighborhood. Walking with her increased my neighbor knowledge.

When I retired two years ago, I walked at whatever time struck my fancy. I saw this same neighbor sit on her front porch visiting with another neighbor. I couldn’t rudely walk by without stopping to say hello. So, I started stopping for conversation.

I finally realized making friends didn’t take as much effort as I feared. I just needed to show up with a smile.

It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

At times, I still walk alone. But I also join my neighbor when I see her walking by or I’ll set out on my own and actively look for one of the regular walkers to walk with.

Several days a week, I stop by my friend’s house to join the front porch meet-up. There will be two to five of us sharing our thoughts. Now I’m the one telling my husband who’s who in the neighborhood.

Now I sing a different tune. I’m sure you recognize it.

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood
A beautiful day for a neighbor
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

It's a neighborly day in this beautywood
A neighborly day for a beauty
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?

I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you
I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you

So let's make the most of this beautiful day
Since we're together, we might as well say
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?

Won't you please
Won't you please
Please won't you be my neighbor?

Thank you, Fred Rogers, for reminding us we don’t have to look far for friends.

Photo by S.G.S. Abel

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

1. When my granddaughters visit, our front yard is the place to be. In the picture above, my oldest granddaughter was playing Hide and Seek with me. 🙈

2. Treat yourself to Julie Andrews singing, “I Whistle a Happy Tune”.🎶

3. I’m grateful for the friendships I’ve developed with my neighbors.

4. Could you use your front yard to connect with your neighbors? This article discusses how front yards can be part of the solution to loneliness. 🏡

5. It’s good to have a presence in your neighborhood. Waving and sharing a smile works.👋😁

6. This article discusses the benefits of walking and talking. 🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏻‍♀️

7. Here is Fred Rogers introducing one of the shows about his neighborhood. He was a gift. His work and words will continue to inspire.

Thank you for reading. Maybe this week you will find something to share with your neighbors.

Until next time,

💚

Susan

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I have a 2nd newsletter about journaling. If you are interested or know someone who would be interested, check it out at From The Pen’s Nib: A Commonplace Book About Journaling.