Your Quirks Will Help You Decide

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 108

Susan G.S. Abel

Oct 17, 2024

Welcome back, friends!

I received a text this week and immediately thought I would turn down the opportunity.

Then I had to reconsider. A quirk of mine convinced me to say yes.

In this newsletter:

Deciding what to do with your time.
Say yes to what you love.
Identifying yourself through quirks.

Is it a Yes or a No?

With all the activities you do in retirement, you wonder how you ever worked. It’s true. I stay busy.

When you retire, you think you will have time to do whatever you want. Sit and read all day? Yes! Finish all those crafting projects? Of course. And, oh, the new opportunities! Don’t you want to take advantage of opportunities? I certainly talk and write about it enough.

Then reality sets in. You discover you still have to say no to opportunities because you really don’t have the time.

It’s a little easier to say no in retirement because when people ask you to do something, you can answer, “No, I’m busy. " Chances are, unless they are your best friends or family or possibly read your two newsletters, they don't know what ‘busy’ means. And others just assume you don’t want to take on any new responsibilities.

I thought I would have time to pick and choose. I thought it would be easy to draw a clear line to distinguish between my yeses and nos. Yes, to all the things that make me happy! No, to the things I don’t want to do.

It isn’t that easy. I’ve learned to put thought into saying yes or no.

An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse

Fortunately, I have never felt lost in retirement.

I volunteer in elementary schools twice a week, and although I thoroughly enjoy it, I have never once thought it was a mistake to retire. I’ve never missed the meetings, parent calls, and paperwork that was part of my job. Every time I show up at school to volunteer, I am reassured it was the right decision. I loved what I did for 41 years but was ready to do something new.

Then, I was caught off guard by a text message from a former coworker. One of the administrators wanted to contact me. Could she share my contact information?

I smiled to myself and answered, “Sure.” After all, I knew what I would say even without hearing why the administrator wanted to talk to me. “I’m busy.”

Sometimes, our smugness and assumptions set us up to be brought down a notch.

Could I step into another school volunteer position?

When Your Identity Lies in Your Quirks

I didn’t throw out my “I’m busy” card. When I talked to the administrator, I said yes to the opportunity.

When I listened to Gretchen Rubin’s podcast about how one's quirks are part of one's identity, I understood why I said yes.

My quirks include making people happy (I’m a people-pleaser), disliking perfume, enjoying Hallmark Christmas movies (I wrote about that in Take Pen to Paper: Edition 60), and loving being around children. Thinking about my answer to this new opportunity, another quirk popped into my head.

I like to feel needed for my expertise.

The school administrator asked me to be a surrogate parent for a child who had no parental representation at a special education meeting. You may not have realized there is a need for such.

If a child is a ward of the state, the parents can not be located, or the parent requests a surrogate, the school district is responsible for appointing a person to represent the child's needs in meetings concerning special education. The district I live in depends on volunteers not employed by the district (that would be retired me). My knowledge of the special education process is a bonus.

My granddaughter is amazing but not old enough to represent herself. Photo by S.G.S. Abel

The opportunity to act as a surrogate parent checked the boxes of many of my quirks. In particular, it made me feel needed for my knowledge and skills. (Have I ever mentioned how I love to read and write Individualized Education Plans? That is a true quirk.)

So, come Tuesday morning, I will not be ‘busy’ with the many activities I do with my time. I said yes to something I thought I would never be doing again: sitting in an IEP meeting as a surrogate parent because a child needs me to look out for their interests.

Have you thought about which of your quirks drive your decisions?

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

The picture above is where I spent my last five years of employment. I had stacks just like I do on my current desk. 🫤
If you want to listen to the podcast about quirks, it’s here. (You can fast forward to time marker 16:00.)🎧
It’s good to know your quirks; they can guide you in deciding what’s right for you.
How do you know if you are saying yes too much? This article has some tips.
I am grateful for the opportunity to step in and use my skills and knowledge to help. 🎓
I found this article about the need to be needed easy to understand. It also reminded me there is a difference between helping and enabling.
It’s good to ask others for advice in their areas of expertise. It might make them feel needed. ❓

Thank you for reading. This week, make a list of your quirks.

Until next time,

💚

Susan

What do you always say yes to? Leave a comment and let me know. I would love to read about it.

🙏Bonus thru November🙏

Last year, I created a free gratitude template for anyone interested in either:

starting a daily gratitude practice
stretching your gratitude practice

The template is 31 topics and example sentences for gratitude. Thirty-one topics will get you through each day in any month. Isn’t November a great time to start?

My journaling habit started with gratitude. It has brought me more than I imagined, so it’s natural for me to recommend it.

I love having a guide and examples when I take on a new endeavor. I hope this template provides that for anyone who wants to use it. There are three ways to access the template.

Access and make a copy of this Google Document: The Daily Gratitude Habit Jumpstart
Go to The Daily Gratitude Jumpstart by clicking this link https://sgsabel.gumroad.com/l/DailyGratitudeHabitJumpstart. Or enter it into your browser.
When you scroll down the page, you should see my Gumroad home page without the “Name a fair Price” section circled. In the “Name a fair price” box, put the numeral “0” because this is free! You provide your email, and a copy will be sent to you to download.