Who Are You A Reflection Of?

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 102

Sep 05, 2024

Welcome back, friends!

What path were you on when you met me (or my newsletter)? What made you choose to read and/or subscribe to Take Pen to Paper?

I always enjoy reading Danny Reeves’ newsletter, Don’t Like It? Get Better. He and I crossed paths while participating in the same online writing cohort. When he pushed himself to write and publish essays well beyond the 30-day challenge, I was inspired to do the same.

Danny often inspires me with his observations. I am drawn to his words, which often reflect how I feel. His recent newsletter included this observation, which inspired my newsletter today:

I am a reflection of them as much as anything else. - Danny Reeves

In this newsletter:

Leaving a path for others.
We choose people for a reason.
We reflect who we choose.

The Path We Leave

Everyone leaves a path with their words and actions.

Our words and actions portray who we are for others to see. As we move through the world, we are drawn to people because of the trail they leave. We may be drawn directly to them or a place along their trail. Perhaps by following their trail, we will meet someone else.

There are never-ending possibilities of paths to cross, people to be drawn to, and where we may be led.

I’ve been enrolled in an online fitness and nutrition program for the past three months. I didn’t find this program by searching the internet. I found it by crossing paths with someone, which led me to someone else.

Three years later, I’m taking this class because one person’s words drew me in, and that person led me to someone else's path.

Someone may read my words or ask me what I did to change, and those words would lead them. It’s as simple as saying the words to someone looking for the same thing I was looking for.

We are always laying a path for others to follow.

Why We Choose Who We Do

Think about the paths of people you have crossed. Did you choose to follow their path? Sometimes, it’s more than you wanting the same thing or following the same path. It’s them: we are drawn to them for who they are.

I’ve taken many art classes, but most are taught by the same instructor. I choose the classes because of the instructor. I’ve tried other equally qualified instructors, but they are just not the same as the instructor I like. I am drawn to her as a person.

We are drawn to people because we are a reflection of them in some way—a common interest, philosophy, or characteristic. If you present your authentic self to others, you will attract similar people. They recognize they reflect you in some way.

Every now and then, I read something that fits into my topic so perfectly that it explains my thoughts thoroughly. This morning, I read,

… I am beginning to see that for some people a hawk on the hand of a stranger urges confession, urges confidences, lets you speak words about hope and home and heart. And I realise, too, that in all my days of walking with Mabel [her goshawk] the only people who have come up and spoken to us have been outsiders: children, teenage goths, homeless people, overseas students, travellers, drunks, people on holiday. ‘We are outsiders now, Mabel,’ I say… - Helen Macdonald, H is for Hawk.

I am drawn to the art instructor because I see a reflection of myself creatively and as an instructor who wants all people to have the opportunity to express themselves artistically. She teaches classes for special needs individuals. I worked with children with special needs for 41 years.

In these small ways, I am a reflection of her, and she is a reflection of me.

We can’t expect everyone we meet to think or be like us, but we will be drawn to those who do, and vice versa.

Reflections

This brings us back to Danny’s quote above.

Think about all your friends, from those you know just a little to those you consider a lifelong friend. Each one of those friends has a little or a lot that you reflect, and vice versa. After all, we were drawn to these people, or they to us.

Danny was referring to his lifelong friends.

Each friend finds a way to the same path you were on, maybe for a little while, maybe for a long while. Some friends leave the path for a while and come back; others have appeared only for a brief time and then left. Your lifelong friends are drawn to you and never leave.

The longer we are around others, the more likely we become a reflection of them.

Having moved from place to place for my entire life. I’ve had many friends cross my path, and I have crossed paths of others. Forty years ago, when I was following my husband on his path, I met two people who would become my friends. We met because our husbands went to school together. (Just try to figure out that tangle of paths!) They became my lifelong friends. They are different from me. We have lived in different places and through different experiences. But they know me through and through. I feel like I am a reflection of them.

How lucky am I that I made so many friends on the paths that I have taken. I hope I have led others to make friends, if not with me then someone I led them to.

Have you thought about the path you leave? Have you thought about who you are drawn to and how you are a reflection of your friends?

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

If you want to read the latest edition of Danny’s newsletter, it’s here. I highly recommend it if you have a lifelong friend(s). 📜
I am grateful for the many paths I’ve traveled and the friends I have made along the way.
It’s good to remember that friendships must be nurtured. Cherish the friends that you have.
Are you curious about how to get closer to a friend? Find a friend to try this 36 questions activity with. ❓
Male vs. Female friendships. Do you agree with these differences? 🙍‍♂️🙍‍♀️
It’s good to remember that we each leave a path that others may cross, so leave a kind and gentle path.
While it is true that we are drawn to those we are a reflection of, we must remember this wise quote: “It’s those who lie outside ordinary experience who have the most to teach us.” -Malcolm Gladwell.

Thank you for reading. This week, take some time to assess one of your friendships. Are you a reflection of your friend?

As for me, I need to go work on the path I’m leaving and nurture a friendship or two.

I’ll be back next week,

💚

Susan

What do you do to nurture your friendships? Leave a comment and let me know.

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