What's the Best Way to Create Memories?

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 58

Susan G.S. Abel

Nov 03, 2023

I am grateful to have you back, friends!

In this newsletter:

Why we should be off routine.
Making time slow down.
Choosing between routine and novelty.
A recipe to create memories.

My husband and I decided to be off routine this past weekend.

Then it felt great to return home and get back to the comfort of routine (and bed).

Let me tell you about the off routine part.

We went away for two nights, driving just far enough for the fall foliage to be more vibrant than where we live.

I decided to go farther off my routine than the distance we traveled. I was almost off the grid.

I took my phone because I am always taking pictures. I took my journal to follow my barebones journaling routine of gratitude and intent. As an abbreviated travel journal, I wrote a few notes about what we did. There was no task list, no planning, no drafting of newsletters, and no problem-solving.

(I stay busy as a retiree.)

Being off routine is hard.

Consider any preschooler who loses the consistency of their routine. Tantrums can be plentiful.

As emotionally self-regulating adults, we do better with routine, but we can handle being out of routine. I knew what I was doing. I also knew I would eventually get back to my routine. A child has difficulty understanding that.

As much as I resist going off routine, it’s a good thing to do.

Leaving your routine allows you to

Reconnect with family, friends, yourself, or nature.
Have new conversations, thoughts, or experiences.
Create memories.

Have you thought about it? It’s hard to remember the tasks we routinely do every day. How often do I think, “Did I take my medicine this morning?”

How can we make time slow down?

Memories play a key role in slowing down time.

I listened to a podcast where one of the cohosts explored having “the longest feeling life”.

As a child, time seems slow. As adults, we ask, “Where did October go?”

Novelty plays a key role in creating memories.

The podcast explained, when we are young, so much is novel. We naturally create more memories. As adults, what was novel as children is routine. Memories become harder to create.

Seeking novelty makes you pause and make a memory. That is what makes time feel slow. Seeking novelty can mean being off routine.

Among the memories I created this weekend were the following:

New conversations with my husband. After 44 years, we still have new topics to talk about.
Exploring a local city park, with fall foliage reflected in the pond. (Of course, I took pictures.)
Trying absinthe. (Why not? It was Halloween weekend, which brings to mind Edgar Allen Poe.)

How do you choose between routine and novelty?

Routine is necessary, too. It gives us comfort. It allows us to relax.

We can find novelty in our routine. If novelty causes us to stop and pay attention, we can look for noveltry in our routine. When I'm on the lookout for glimmers (July 20 newsletter), I’m looking for novelty. And I’m creating a memory.

We can pay attention to any part of our novel or routine day and look for novelty to create a memory.

Here’s a recipe for you to remember:

Memories

Ingredients

1 part Novelty (or routine, whichever you have on hand)
1 part Paying Attention

Directions

Add ingredients and mix slowly.

Optional: Record your memory with a picture or words.

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

The 30-minute podcast I mentioned above can be found here. 🎧
I am grateful for the many times I went off routine (many times reluctantly) to be greatly rewarded with wonderful memories. 🛣️
With the thought above, it’s good to go off routine if it means creating a happy memory, particularly with someone you love. 💞
How do we choose those we want to spend time with and create memories? This article tells you want the latest reasearch says.
In case you want some numbers about friendships, here’s an article that breaks down a recent survey about friendship.
This newsletter is a result of my dativersary weekend. That’s the weekend my husband and I celebrate our first date. Here’s a story I wrote two years ago about two aspects that makes our relationship lasting. 👰🤵
A quote: “Our time in this cosmos is both finite and short.” - Ethan Siegel.

Thank you for reading!

This week, I hope whatever you choose to do and whoever you do it with creates a happy memory for you.

💚

Susan

As we enter the holiday season, you might think of a novel activity to help you creat a memory. Leave a comment and share it with me.

As promised this gift will be posted thoroughout November.

I have created a free gratitude template for you to either:

start a gratitude practice
stretch your gratitude practice

The template is 31 topics and example sentences for gratitude. Thirty-one topics will get you through each day in any month. Isn’t November a great time to start?

I’ve said it several times, gratitude brought me more than I imagined, so it’s natural for me to recommend it.

I love having a guide and examples when I take on a new endeavor. That’s what I hope this is for any who would like to use it. There are three ways to access the template.

Access and make a copy of this Google Document

The Daily Gratitude Habit Jumpstart

Go to The Daily Gratitude Jumpstart by clicking this link https://sgsabel.gumroad.com/l/DailyGratitudeHabitJumpstart. Or enter it into your browser.
When you scroll down the page, you should see this (without my red mark):

In the “Name a fair price” box I marked in red, put the numeral “0” because this is free! You provide your email, and a copy will be sent to you to download.
You can also access Gumroad through my website, takepentopaper.com where you will find a link to the site described above.

Hopefully, I will have at least one reader try each method to make sure I did everything correctly on my end. 🤞(If using technology was a virtue, it would be greatly lacking in me.) If you have any problems, let me know.

Remember, the template is not month-specific. Use it any time.

Take Pen to Paper