The Right Word Matters

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 137

May 08, 2025

Good Morning, Friends!

Or maybe, it’s Good Afternoon. It all depends on when you are reading this.

Every Friday, I hear a version of “Hi, Sue.” This is usually repeated several times before I realize they are talking to me. The words aren’t right.

Using the right word makes a difference.

In this newsletter:

What or who are you?
Our name make us feel like we matter.
A strategy of prevention.

Knowing the Right Words

This weekend we went to my youngest granddaughter’s first ballet recital.

We met them before the performance, and I said, “You are a ballerina dressed like a …” I paused, looking at my daughter-in-law and point to her headband with ears. My daughter-in-law filled in “… a lion.”

I wanted to use the right word, to let her know I recognized her as a lion. At three years old, you never know what will set them off, and she had already cried about wearing tights.

So much of our language depends on what we hear from day to day. If she was used to hearing “lion,” I didn’t want to upset her by calling her a bear.

It feels good to be recognized for who we are, whether it’s a part we are playing or for real.

Call Me My Name

Every time I see one of my neighbors, they never fail to address me by my name. It’s a habit we all need. Being called by your name acknowledges you in a special way. It makes you feel seen; that you matter. Using the right word, or someone’s name buids connections.

This neighbor has inspired me to use others’ names more.

But what if you are calling them the wrong name?

Why does it take me so long to respond when the classmate in art greets me using “Sue”? Sue is not my name. When I hear Sue, it doesn’t register that she’s talking to me.

The fact that she calls me Sue is partly on me. I never corrected her. How was I supposed to know one class would turn into many?

However, it’s on her, too. I was introduced as Susan and she assumed it was OK to shorten my name.

It’s never safe to assume. The best thing to do is to ask before using name different from how they are introduced. Asking shows that the person matters.

This classmate is not the only person guilty of choosing the wrong word (in this case my name). Other people have taken liberties with my name. I often correct them, but sometimes I think, “why bother? I may never see this person again.”

My criteria is whether or not I think the person is someone I will have as a friend or business associate.

Sometimes, I’m wrong.

Sue Me Or Not

Oddly enough, people do the same with my husband’s name. It doesn’t bother him nearly as much as it does me.

Maybe I’m too sensitive. But is it too much to ask others to use the correct name when talking to you?

I introduce myself as Susan, so that is what I expect to be called. I will let you know otherwise. Or, you can ask what I prefer to be called.

I felt so strongly about this that I told my husband that I wanted our children to have names that couldn’t obviously be shortened.

I tried to do that with my two sons and really felt I had succeeded with their first names. Then I discovered that some people would change their names to be longer (or in some cases, totally different). Their names are not unusual.

Go figure.

Correct them, or ignore them, sometimes the battle can’t be won.

Maybe I should be grateful for the family and friends who choose to call me by my given name.

The cutest lion in the pride. S.G.S Abel

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

Did you know the ear shape of lions and bears help with reducing heat loss and directional hearing? 🦁🐻
I am grateful for the teachers who take a group of three-year-olds and patiently transform them into dancers who follow a choreographed routine. 👯‍♂️
Here is a short, easy to understand article about why we should use first names in conversation. 🗨️💬
Here is some data behind how Americans’ feel about their names.
I am grateful for my parents giving me a name that is easy to pronounce and spell, even though it is also easy to shorten.
Here are some tricks to remembering peoples’ names. 🧠
It’s a good thing to ask when you can’t remember someone’s name. Chances are if you can’t remember theirs, they don’t remember yours.

Thank you for reading. How are you at using the right word in conversation?

Until next time,

💚

Susan

Given name, nick name, initials? What’s your preference? Leave a comment and let me know. I would love to hear about it.

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