The Gifts We Give

Happy Holidays, Friends!

With Hanukkah and Christmas around the corner, I can’t help but think about gifts.

In this newsletter:

1. The two definitions of a gift.

2. Tangible gifts are the things of childhood.

3. The lasting impressions of gifts.

A simple definition

A gift is:

1. something given freely

2. a natural ability or talent.

Lewis Hyde’s book, The Gift, is an academic work that delves into how societies support creativity or the “gift” individuals have for creating. His research included looking at the culture of giving gifts, particularly those that come from our natural abilities.

Hyde writes, “….a gift establishes a feeling-bond between two people…. a gift makes a connection.”

Hyde made additional two points that stuck with me.

First, some of the most meaningful gifts are given without anticipating getting one in return. In fact, some cultures view reciprocating as payment. Instead of reciprocating, you should pass a gift on to another. Eventually, a gift will come back to you.

Second, we give gifts when we use our natural abilities or talents to help others. Hyde uses Walt Whitman as an example. As a poet, Whitman’s gift was his writing and words. During the Civil War, he spent months in the hospital for wounded soldiers in Washington, D.C., writing letters to the loved ones of the wounded, talking and listening to them.

How often do we overlook using our natural ability as the gift we give?

Today’s ads would make us believe we must buy the perfect gift. There’s an item in a store for you to purchase to make the recipient happy.

Tangible gifts are the things of childhood.

Poet Pablo Neruda tells of a gift he received in childhood. His unseen neighbor, a boy about his age, pushes a toy sheep through the fence boards separating their yards. This gift inspires Neruda to reciprocate with a special pine cone he found and adored.

After reading Neruda’s story, I recalled a subplot from one of my favorite novels, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

At the story's beginning, Scout and Jem find gifts from an unknown source in the knot hole of a big oak down the street from their house. The gifts were simple: sticks of gum, a ball of twine, shiny nickels, a broken pocket watch, and their uncanny likenesses carved from bars of soap.

In both stories, the gifts given are small, simple gifts. They are also gifts considered precious by the giver and recognized as such by the recipient.

Tangible gifts are precious to children. They understand objects that are easily identifiable and experienced with the senses.

As we grow older, it’s easier to understand that intangible gifts also bring happiness. Tangible or intangible can establish a feeling-bond that makes us feel connected.

We don’t need to rely on the tangible when we have natural abilities we can share. Singing a song, reading a book aloud, or teaching how to cook a new recipe are experiences that last forever because they create a memory or a lasting impression.

Gifts with a lasting impression.

Both Pablo Neruda and Harper Lee tell us stories of gift-giving that created a “feeling-bond” and left lasting impressions.

Pablo Neruda ends his childhood memory with this quote,

“That is the great lesson I learned in my childhood, in the backyard of a lonely house. Maybe it was nothing but a game two boys played who didn’t know each other and wanted to pass to the other some good things of life. Yet maybe this small and mysterious exchange of gifts remained inside me also, deep and indestructible, giving my poetry light.”

As Hyde notes in his book, a gift is received and the recipient passes it on to others. Neruda sees the gift he received from an unknown friend as something he might be passing on to others through his words, similar to Walt Whitman.

And what do Scout, Jem, and their experience receiving the small precious gifts in the knot hole in the oak?

If you haven’t read To Kill A Mockingbird, or it’s been years since you have, I won’t give any spoilers away. Their gift-giver left gifts in the oak because of a feeling-bond. The small gifts in the oak were the giver’s way of being a part of the children’s life. At the end of the story, Scout realizes she and Jem had been giving their gift-giver an intangible gift that caused that feeling-bond. As events unfold, the biggest gift the children received was also intangible. They had an unknown protector in their daily life who ultimately helped them learn a life lesson about understanding others.

Both stories are examples of a lasting impression of gifts given. They started as tangible, something the children could understand. Ultimately, the gifts taught each recipient a lasting life lesson. In turn, they could share these lessons with others.

You never know when the opportunity will arise to give a gift. If we work to be present in the moment, we will see those opportunities.

We each have gifts to share. It’s just a matter of feeling self-confident enough to share them. When your gifts come from your heart, they make a lasting impression.

Have you thought about the connections you are making with the gifts you give?

Photo by S.G.S. Abel

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

1. The picture above was a gift from a student. During my 41 years in education, I received many gifts. Ultimately, I only kept a few. I kept this one because his mother told me he wanted to make mine special because I was the first teacher who was nice to him. Hearing that reminded me that not all people, teachers included, chose to be nice. Kindness is a gift you can give anyone.🎁

2. It’s good to remember that the smallest gift, tangible or intangible, can leave a lasting impression.

3. Here is the story in which Pablo Neruda writes of the gift exchange that possibly gave light to his poetry. 🐑

4. A quote: “In true creation of art, there is not only no border between the work of the art and the artist, but also between the work and the other people who experience it. The major attraction of real art lies in this unification.” - Leo Tolstoy.

5. If you are interested in reading background information on the banning of To Kill A Mockingbird, I found this article very interesting. Read the book and decide which camp you fall in.

6. It is good thing to let someone who gave you a gift that left a lasting impression know what it meant to you and how much you appreciate it.

7. Here is a gift of experience for you. This website will give you a calendar of the night sky in your area. Give someone the gift of your time and observe the night sky with them. Go to the settings icon and change it to where you live. 🌃

Thank you for reading!

As you prepare for the holidays, be conscious of the intangible gifts you have to share.

💚

Susan

I hope you enjoyed this newsletter! If you know someone else who would enjoy it, share it with them.

I would love to hear about special gifts you are giving or that you are receiving. Tell me about them! I love collecting ideas for future use.

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