Lessons from a Gift of Christmas Past

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 117

Susan G.S. Abel

Dec 20, 2024

Happy Holidays Friends!

Part of the excitement of the holidays is that you may get a gift.

It’s hard not to get caught up in the anticipation.

In this newsletter:

Important life lessons come with vivid memories.
When judgment gets in the way.
Three gifts in one box.

A Memory That Stands Out

Have you ever noticed how a life lesson accompanies some of your most vivid childhood memories? It could be someone who taught you many lessons or one event that stays with you.

There’s not a lot I remember about fifth grade. My elementary years tend to blur together. We moved around with my father’s jobs. Many teachers and friends are long forgotten.

I have a memory that surfaces at least every Christmas, if not more often.

The gift exchange in my fifth-grade class meant another gift I would get during the holiday. We drew names. Being fifth-graders, it didn’t take long for everyone to know who pulled whose name.

That was the beginning of an important lesson for me.

Judging Others On ‘Nots’

I don’t remember whose name I pulled, but I remember who had my name. I immediately assumed my gift would not be good.

I’m not sure what I thought good would be, but it wouldn’t come from Bobby.

I didn’t know Bobby well. Besides being a boy (ew!) and often dirty (he was a boy), I could tell you what he was not.

He wasn’t the cutest or friendliest.

He wasn’t the smartest or most popular.

He didn’t talk to me (and I didn’t talk to him).

I didn’t think he was like me, even though I could only claim cleanliness and being smart enough to make mostly As and Bs.

To this day, that sums up my knowledge of Bobby. I judged Bobby on that set of sketchy observations and assumed that whatever he bought me wouldn’t be anything I could want.

I judged him for not being like me.

A Small Box of Gifts

Bobby gave me three gifts that Christmas.

The first gift was teaching me a lesson about judgment and assumptions. Upon opening his gift, I immediately realized how wrong I was in judging Bobby based on the way he looked and my perception of our differences.

I don’t remember what I was expecting when I opened his small gift. I vividly remember being surprised at what I saw and grateful I hadn’t spoken my unkind, selfish thoughts aloud to anyone. There are no secrets in a fifth-grade class.

That was the first time I realized how easy and how wrong it is to judge others on very little information. We need to give others the opportunity to show us what gifts they have to share.

The second gift was in the box. I loved it! However, because of my initial thoughts, I didn’t feel I deserved it.

The third gift was the realization that I made the gift exchange about myself - what would I get? I should have focused on what I was giving. I had the opportunity to make someone smile.

The lessons we learn the hard way are the ones we remember.

I was lucky Bobby pulled my name. He gave me more than I ever thought I would get.

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

When I open my childhood jewelry box, I see the small red butterfly necklace Bobby gave me.
I am grateful for the lessons I learn, even if I’m embarrassed at my previous thinking.
Look closely at the chain the butterfly hangs on. The build-up of green crystals is a sure sign of 50-year-old costume jewelry. This article explains why vintage costume jewelry develops this.
Could my memory of Bobby and his gift be a flashbulb memory? Read this and tell me what you think.
It’s a good thing to be open to learning lessons from your experiences that are based on false assumptions.
I don’t think Bobby could have given me better gifts. If you are struggling to find a gift for someone, these tips may help you.
You give me a gift each time you read one of my newsletters. I am grateful for that. I hope you find some good in them to share with others.

Thank you for reading. This week, focus on the giving perspective of gifts.

Until next time,

💚

Susan

What gift have you been most surprised by? Leave a comment and let me know. I would love to read about it.

Take Pen to Paper