Is Your Action Truly Selfish?

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 129

Mar 13, 2025

Hello, Take Pen to Paper Readers!

The other day, I was thinking about how much time I spend journaling. In case you are wondering, it’s about an hour each day.

My thoughts led me to think about our decisions that may seem selfish. If a choice seems selfish, we may decide to do otherwise.

In this newsletter:

Is it only about me?
We are our harshest critic.
Selfish can be best for all.

Good for Me or Good for All?

If it’s good for me, isn’t it good for everyone?

I’m talking about the actions I take for my benefit. If I benefit, others will benefit because I did. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

Yet, we are led to believe that selfishness is bad. We need to share. We need to do for others. It’s all about self-sacrifice.

Then again, sometimes doing for myself is doing for others.

I’m sure you have heard that we must take care of ourselves so we can take care of others.

Getting Past Your Inner Critic

As a full-time working mom who cooked every night, by Friday I was exhausted.

If I remember correctly, about twenty(ish) years ago, I threw up my hands and said, “That’s it! From now on, Friday nights will be frozen pizza night!” It was suggested that we make it order-out pizza night, but I knew this was a two-step process - 1. order, 2. answer the door. I was having none of that. The grocery store was already on my list, so I cut the process to one step - put it in the oven. Wouldn’t order-out pizza be more delicious? Probably, but I was going the selfish route. It would be one less decision I had to make every week.

You are probably laughing about me thinking that was a selfish decision. But I grew up in a home where my mother cooked seven days a week. Pizza was a treat rarely eaten. I felt like I was letting my family down with my pizza decree.

But I was the only one in the family putting pressure on me to cook each night.

My decision allowed me to relax, recuperate, and get ready for the weekend with my family. By eating frozen pizza (cooked, of course), I was a happier member of the family.

And seriously, what was I thinking? My boys loved it! No one complained. I was the one who had to get over it. Pizza night was the most popular selfish decision I ever made.

Twenty(ish) years later, and even though I'm retired, Friday is still pizza night. I have plenty of time to shop and cook, but I’d rather be selfish.

The Benefits of Selfish Actions

The decision to take an action that could be considered selfish isn’t made in isolation. You don’t live in a bubble, and chances are our selfish decisions are made with our circumstances and the people in our lives in mind. We naturally consider those aspects, even if we are not aware of them.

For all appearances journaling seems selfish. I do it by myself, for myself.

My selfish act of journaling allows me to meet each day and each person with a happy face. My family lives with a more positive person. They may even be relieved that I am out of their hair for an hour. I may be a little more thoughtful and reflective. Journaling improves my attitude. It helps me write newsletters that make others smile (I hope).

The next time you are concerned about taking a selfish action, ask yourself how others might benefit from your selfish action. That might help you make up your mind.

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:

Pictured above is the majority of my filled journals. Just think of the hours I’ve spent on myself!
I wasn’t keeping a journal twenty(ish) years ago when I made my pizza declaration. Maybe I would have felt differently if I had been.
Totino’s started selling frozen pizza in the 1960s. By the 70s it was the top selling frozen pizza in the country. Then came Tombstone Pizza followed by Red Baron.
In many areas of the country, they serve ranch dressing as a dipping sauce with pizza, so you might find this article interesting.
I found this article interesting, especially when I read about choosing or not choosing yourself. Journaling addresses so many signs listed.
A quote: “Selfishness can be a virtue. Selfishness is essential to survival, and without survival we cannot protect those whom we love more than ourselves.” - Duke Ellington.
It’s a good thing to be selfish if the action helps you be the best you. Others depend on you.

Thank you for reading. Do you ever choose actions you feel are selfish?

Until next time,

💚

Susan

What about you? How do you know when you need to choose a selfish action? Leave a comment and let me know. I would love to hear your thoughts.

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