Welcome back, my friends,
Do you start each day with a “Can Do” attitude?
It can be hard when you have a history with who you are dealing with.
In this newsletter:
There’s always a history.
Your history affects your present.
A mantra for each day.
There May be a History You Don’t Know
I was helping during the first-grade lunch period when I noticed a student looking for a place to sit. When I passed him, I pointed to an empty seat three feet away.
“No,” he said. “I’m looking for a place where they will be nice to me.”
As a volunteer, I try to leave disputes and discipline to the teachers. I enjoy my role of passing out sporks and napkins. I wasn’t sure how to respond.
After being distracted by a request for a sport, I was back to my young friend, who had moved to the other end of the table. He stood by an empty seat.
“What’s wrong with this seat?”
”They won’t be nice to me.”
I decided to intervene. “Sure they will.” I directed my next comment to the student who was already eating. “You’ll be nice, won’t you?” In theory, shouldn’t an adult’s encouragement work?
That’s when I learned there was some history in the class.
My newer friend responded, “He doesn’t say nice things to me.”
The Past Resurfaces with Each Interaction
We have histories with so many of the people we deal with on a daily basis.
I’ve been attempting to move some money from an annuity to a different company.
I use the word attempting because my experience tells me it’s not as simple as getting online and making a transaction as the recording states when you call. I have also learned that calling (if you can find a number on the website) doesn’t guarantee you will speak to a person. If you talk to a person, there’s a chance they will not know what to do.
I have a history with this company, which resurfaces each time I need to take action. Two or three phone calls to carry out a simple transaction are to be expected. The task becomes one I dread.
I admit I take a negative attitude into the interaction. I prepare for the worst, running difficult scenarios and possible responses through my head. I need to pep myself up to pick up the phone, (probably not unlike a first grader hesitating before choosing a seat).
That seems like the wrong way to go about it. I should expect a friendly, knowledgeable voice with the answer I need. I should think that this time will be different.
I need a mantra when faced with a task that past experience has taught me will be unpleasant.
Let’s Start Over
For my young friends in the cafeteria, I chose to encourage them to start over because “every day is a new day, and today, you can make good choices to say nice things to each other.”
I had them pledge to me that they would try and told them I would come back to check with them later.
We often hear the phrase, “Every day is a new day,” but do we consider what it could mean if we take it seriously? What if we could erase the past and start over?
Instead of starting interactions expecting the worst, we could approach them like a new day with new possibilities. We would need a positive attitude, making sure we aren’t the ones bringing in the negative history that causes things to go sour quickly. We don’t need to be the ones who cause others to avoid us or lash out with rude words.
I checked back with my friends at the end of their lunch. They had a successful 25 minutes of eating together. I think I’ll check in with them again next week.
And me? I went into the interaction hopeful, after all, it was a new day.
The website was down. It took two phone calls, two emails, and two faxes to complete my transaction. I did my part and used nice words when giving some constructive criticism.
I’m grateful for my patience and that I can limit my words to nice words when needed.
7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good:
In this episode of Anderson Cooper’s podcast about grief, “All There Is”, David Sedaris talks about subject of how a person’s history affects an interaction. 🐇
I am grateful for my habit of writing my intention for the day after I write gratitude. It helps me start each day with a positive mindset. ✍️
I ran across this blog and thought, ‘That’s what I’m trying to say.” 💬
It’s good to give specific small suggestions to others, especially children. I want all of their interactions to be nice. I chose nice words as a first small step.
A quote: “I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.” - J. B. Priestley 🌅
I’m grateful for the opportunity to be in the school cafeteria when my granddaughter eats. I enjoy seeing her interact with her classmates. 😋
There are many statistics about school lunches. Take a peek. 🍕
Thank you for reading. This week, remember that everyone you interact with has a history.
Until next time,
💚
Susan
How do you keep hidden histories from ruining your day? Leave a comment and let me know. I would love to read about it.
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I have a 2nd newsletter about journaling. If you are interested or know someone who would be, check it out at From The Pen’s Nib: A Commonplace Book About Journaling.