Appreciation for My Father Came Late in Life

Take Pen to Paper: Edition 38

Hello Friends,

In the U.S., we will be celebrating Father’s Day this Sunday.

Mothers do many things to earn a day of celebration. The most obvious one is to give birth.

I had to look a little deeper to find reasons to celebrate my father.

Many people have more than one father figure in their life. I only had my father. You would think that would make it easy for me to see why I should celebrate my father. But I needed maturity.

I grew up when fathers worked outside the home, and mothers worked inside the home. I knew what my mother did to run the house. On the other hand, I had a very hazy view of what my father did. What exactly did engineers have to do with belts and making paper?

The actions I did see included being:

• the primary driver of the car (this gradually changed).

• in charge of the grill for cookouts.

• the math homework helper.

• the handyman in charge of all things mechanical.

I learned from watching my father. He also directly taught me skills I needed for life, including how to:

• ride a bike.

• drive a car with manual transmission.

• check the oil in my car.

But truth be told, I expected those actions. Weren’t fathers supposed to do those things? It’s a credit to him that as time passed, he didn’t see the world as decidedly male vs. female.

I didn’t really appreciate my father until I was an adult out in the world with a family and job of my own.

There was a gradual change from a father-daughter relationship to a relationship that included one of two adults who respected what each other had to offer.

In addition to the typical father characteristics my dad demonstrated, I learned to appreciate him as a person outside of the familial sense.

My father was a people person. He respectfully talked to people from all walks of life on their level. He listened and learned what I was passionate about. He took the time to discuss special education, parenting, and our family history. I felt his respect for my knowledge of the first two topics. He volunteered information on the third.

I learned to ask for his advice because he had good business sense. Even though he wasn’t a professional educator, he could look at the big picture and make suggestions. I learned to value that.

I wouldn’t have realized how much I appreciated him if I hadn’t spent time with him.

My father passed away two years ago. Now I look back and see his impact on me.

His job took him to many places in my youth. We moved about every four years. I married a man much like him. We have also moved around the country (although not quite as much). I get a touch of that same adventurous spirit from my father.

My ability to make big decisions in life has resulted from his influence. He had high expectations and trusted me to make the right choices.

It has taken me years and much thought to realize and appreciate my father’s influence on me.

I think of him often, and Father’s Day is a good time to write about him.

Photo by J.T. Sims

Photo by S.G.S. Abel

Photo by K. Rinehart

7 Days, 7 Thoughts on Gratitude and Good

1. I’m grateful for the three generations of fathers I have known in my lifetime. Pictured above with their children my father, my husband, and my son.

2. I’m grateful for taking the time to reflect on my relationships with family members.

3. Perhaps you won’t be with a father this Sunday, or maybe you need a gift for a father in your life. Here are eleven recommended books about fathers that are unforgettable in the right way. I’ve only read two of the eleven. If the other nine are as good, I must add them to my TBR list. 📚

4. No one is perfect. It’s good to accept that about ourselves and others, even our parents.

5. A quote, “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.” -Michael J. Fox

6. It’s good to look for good in others and consider the possibility of building a relationship on that good.

7. While we are celebrating Father’s Day, who doesn’t like Dad jokes? 🤣

Thank you for reading.

Here’s my Dad joke to share with you:

Why did the frog cross the road?

So it wouldn’t get towed. 🤣🤣

Do you have a “Dad Joke” you want to share? I love them because they are typically clean and goofy. If you want to share yours, leave a comment.

Whatever you are doing this weekend, I hope you take some time to reflect on your relationships with family.

❤

Susan